A call in desperation

I am in desperate need of money. PRONTO. SO QUICK QUICK job me please.
I will suck cock for the following (Umm no, that was a figure of speech)

Deadmau5 (enmore) 3 DEC - $43.80 X 2 = $87.6
Passion Pit (metro) 20 JAN - $73.10 X 2 = $146.20
Calvin Harris ♥ (metro) 21 JAN - $67.60 X 2 = $135.20

PARKING fine (OMFG it's due soon!!!!!) 10 DEC - $197.00

________________
Gross total = $566.00
Grand total (substitute money in bank) = $561.12

I need $561.12 by like tomorrowish. FUCK ME I'm so dead.